If there has been one over-riding passion in my life, it has been
learning about Relationship. Relationship is the fastest and most intense vehicle for
Spiritual Growth available.
I have always been fascinated by how people interact with
each other, relate to each other, misunderstand each other,
mistreat each other,
and love each other. How is it that two people can proclaim undying love to each other
one minute, and hate each other the next? How can two people see the exactly the same
events in entirely different ways? What causes this differing perception?
Is this often conflicting perception what causes relationships to fail?
Is this difference in perception the same reason nations to go to war with each other?
Are we doomed to remain separate beings, nations, or is there a solution to this
eternal conflict?
As a young girl, I took it for granted that when I was old
enough I would find "true love". As I progressed through adolescence
and early adulthood, I began looking for the perfect relationship,
one where you were always in harmony with your mate, one where you always
saw things the same way, and of course, you
could read each other's minds.
After a few early relationships, it soon became apparent that
the "perfect" love was going to be harder to find than I naively
thought. Undaunted, I became determined to fully understand the dynamics of
relationship both by studying all the written material I could find
on the subject, and also by experiencing relationship with different
types of people. I even briefly pursued
a Masters Degree in Psychology because I naively thought
that by studying psychology, I would find the answers I was
looking for. My burning questions were
1) Why do relationships that begin as harmonious and passionate usually
degenerate into conflict and blame, and sometimes violence 2) How does one sustain the
passion in a long-term committed relationship?, and 3) How can one
gain clarity in a relationship [that they are in]? And most
importantly, 4) What is Love? What does it really mean to *Love* someone?
After reading every book I could find on Relationship, I finally stumbled
upon 2 books that introduced me to
The Pathwork -
"Creating Union", and "The Pathwork of Self-Transformation".
The Pathwork is a series of lectures channeled from the Guide by Eva Pierrakos.
When I read the Pathwork Lectures, I could feel the energy of the Guide
running through my body like an electrical current, opening my heart.
I knew this energy was supporting me and helping me to re-member the message
in the lecture at a soul level.
For the first time in my life, I began to understand that the purpose
of relationship is to learn how to keep our hearts open, and to see
each and every person as Sacred and Divine Beings.
I also learned how to improve my relationships by being in Integrity and
acting with more Compassion.
Studying the Pathwork and
using the Awakening Your Light Body techniques
started me on the journey of untangling the Energy stuck in my Mental and Emotional
Bodies. These energetic blockages
impede our ability to see things clearly and to Love with an open heart.
I began to truly *know* that the people around us are mirrors to
who we are, and what are issues are. The difficulties we have with other people are not
because of their stuff, they are caused by our stuff. It is
our responsibility, *ours alone*, to deal with our stuff. So many
people say "If only he didn't do this, or If only she would do that, I would
be happy." STOP!!! This is *victim* mentality that only drives couples apart and causes a
relationship to stagnate or
deteriorate. It is only when you have no "charge" surrounding an issue that you can see it
clearly and make the highest choices (decisions) regarding that issue.
The simple truth is that when you clear yourself energetically of enough
"hidden" stuff (fears, error thinking, mass-consciousness beliefs, expectations, etc)
your relationships become deeper and more harmonious because YOU are clearer and able to see
things from a different, higher perspective. The wonderful side effect of this clarity
is that it becomes easier to keep one's heart open and truly see the other person
as a Divine Being. Truely Loving is simply
the ability to keep one's heart open under any circumstances. This is a simple thing,
though sometimes incredibly difficult, to do. The more you clear your "stuff", and the more you
keep your heart open, the higher your Frequency becomes. And the higher your Frequency becomes,
the more you
manifest things that you truly want and desire into your live. The wonderful side effect is that things
things that do not serve you (things of a lower Frequency than you) begin dropping out of your life.
In other words, the more of your stuff
you deal with, the better your life and your relationships get, and the more LOVE
you will experience in your life!
So what are the ingredients of a great relationship? There are 3 things:
1) Each partner has to be willing to
COMMIT to each other, body and soul. The relationship should come first, not other things like work.
Of course there are exceptions, but commitment should be a primary goal for both.
This also means working toward common goals of complete trust,
honesty, and integrity with each other.
2) Each partner must be willing to give up the "victim" mentality. This is where a person is
quick to blame things on external factors (usually the other partner). For a relationship to
continue growing, each person must be willing
to do the self-inquiry and the work of looking at the "stuff"
that is is being triggered by a given situation.
It also helps when each person is willing to look at the situation from a different perspective.
If one can do this, oftentimes it turns out that the issue is just not that important.
Usually it is the person who is the most violently triggered, or who is exhibiting the most resistance to a
situation who has the underlying issue that needs to be cleared. Some people say that they want
to grow Spiritually but do not DO the work necessary for growth. Here, actions speak louder than words.
3) Each partner has to be
committed to not only their own Spiritual Growth, but also supporting their partner's Spiritual Growth.
This means compassionately assisting each other
in understanding and working through issues and NOT being afraid to call the other person on their "Stuff".
It does NOT mean one partner is always the one who compromises or gives in because s/he values the
relationship more. It does no good to baby the other partner by allowing her/him to hide from
their issues. That does not foster Spiritual Growth or allow a Relationship to grow or deepen.
When these 3 ingredients exist in relationship, watch out! There is no limit
to the Love and Passion in your life, and your Relationships can deepen and grow
tremendously. You can
have a Relationship that will literally bring Heaven to Earth.
The following Pathwork lectures are a beginning to a deeper
understanding of Relationship. I sincerely hope that reading them will
bring to you as much Peace, Joy and Love as they have brought me.
